spring cleaning...

Our house has anxiously been awaiting the arrival of spring.  Warmer temperatures can't get here soon enough.  One day we think spring is just about here, we get all excited about shedding some heavier layers of clothing, then Mother Nature gets a good laugh at us and drops an inch or two of snow. 

So many wonderful and fun things come with our spring... soccer, warm temps, dreaming up planting and gardens.  Bad things come with spring, too, allergies being one thing and spring cleaning being the other.  Who has time for allergies or cleaning?  Not me.

I was just chatting with a friend about cleaning.  How we both dislike it.  If you know me well, you might be rubbing your eyes and making sure you're reading what I just said correctly... I don't like to clean!

A year ago today I would have said I loved cleaning.  I found great satisfaction in a squeaky clean house with every item in it's spot, the bottom of the hamper empty and freshly vacuumed lines in the carpet. 

Not any more.

These days, now that I'm working full time, I'll take a nicely picked up house.  Heck, some days I don't even care about that, but for the most part, I enjoy a tidy house.  I can sit and chill out much better after a day of work if there isn't a mess at my feet, in the sink or on the floor.  But some days, I just don't care.

My house isn't filthy.  It's just not spotless, like I used to think it needed to be.  Working 40 hour weeks has made me realize that there is more important things to be done with my family and cleaning comes when there is time. 

As some of my friends start their version of spring cleaning... emptying out the house to vacuum, mop and wipe down every square inch of their house, I'll be walking around picking up those big out of place items, running the vacuum quickly through the room and spraying a little Febreeze (which really isn't Febreeze, it's a homemade recipe, because I'm cheap frugal) in hopes that you'll love the smell and ignore the layer of dust I most likely forgot to wipe up.

Happy Spring!

too nice?

In general, I'm about as easy going and go-with-the-flow type mommy as they come.  I let GQ play like most young boys play-- hard and fast and with great imagination.  If he and his friends want to play and make believe they're ninjas, it's all good with me.  They can "fight" or "battle" all they want, as long as nobody is getting hurt.  After all, they're boys and they need the release of this type of play after a long day of first grade.  We're out at the park, on grass, everybody playing is consenting, I'm watching closely just to jump in and referee if needed...we're all good.  Right?  Apparently not.

There is a particular mom that is there everyday at the park.  I've talked to this mom every day after school since the beginning of the school year, so most people would consider her a friend, but she's seriously a pain-in-my-ass.  I dread our daily chats.  We'll call her Momo (short for moron.)  I know, mean, but seriously...it's fitting.

So, Momo, sees the boys "battling" all the time and knows that I'm keeping an eye on things and making sure it's all good, but she often points out "they're playing really rough, you need to make them stop."  Assuming she doesn't see my eyes roll behind my sunglasses I respond "they're all good...just boys being boys.  If somebody is hurt or wants to stop, you'll know, they'll call time or scream."  I swear, not two minutes later it's the same thing again.  *ugh*  I just learn to ignore and let the kids play, don't let her trying to tell me how to parent my child bother me...easy going...go-with-the-flow.

A day or two later.  At the park, watching the kids play, Momo brings up homeless people and how she's annoyed by them.  She just can't understand why they're begging, blah, blah, blah.  A couple other parents are listening by default and/or chiming in.  I ignore for the most part but get so tired of hearing how these people annoy her and blah, blah, blah, I decide to shut her down.  "If I see somebody that I know is in need, I try to help.  If it's a meal I can buy them or a few dollars I can give them, I do what I can.  I don't care if they buy beer or cigarettes, if that's what gets them through their day, I'm glad I could help."  Crickets chirping.  Finally, she stopped talking.

My tolerance is slowly decreasing for Momo.  It wasn't much to begin with, but I can be nice, after all, that is what we have taught GQ...you don't have to like everybody but you do need to treat them nicely.  So, I'm nice.  It's just extra-hard to be nice to somebody that is so intolerant of people's differences.

The day after the homeless discussion at the park seems uneventful.  Nice.  Dang it, I spoke too soon.  Momo's daughter comes over crying to her mom "those girls are being mean to me."  Momo immediately assumes they've hit her daughter and asks where she's hurt.  "no, I'm not hurt but they won't play with me."  In my head I'm thinking she's going to explain to her daughter that it's no big deal, it's a big park, lots of kids, she can certainly find something to do.  That's the reasonable explanation, right?  Not for Momo.  Her response to her kindergartner... "They are poopy heads."  That's nice Momo, calling 5-7 year old girls shit heads to your kindergartner, good move.  She sends her daughter off to play and then says to me "those situations are so rough, I just never know what to say."  If you're not sure what to say, how about offering a hug and leaving it at that.  Calling little kids names isn't what you do.

I know this is getting long, but I'm just trying to give you a good picture of what I deal with on a daily basis and why I so dread our interactions.  I could go on and on with daily updates, but I won't bore you with all the details and I'll wrap this up soon, I promise. But, can you see my tolerance for Momo lessening each day?

So we're at the park today and there is a little girl that comes to the park every day with her brother.  This little girl doesn't have a parent there and she sort of flounders around until her brother is ready to walk home.  And every day this little girl asks me for snacks or asks GQ to share his snack and every day GQ shares if she hits him up before he devours it.  I've told GQ it's nice for him to share but he doesn't have to share all the time, it's his snack.  I bring a granola bar, so it's not like he's holding a family-sized bag of chips, it's not unreasonable for him to say no.  Today this little girl came over to GQ and before she could ask he said "I don't have a snack and don't ask my mom for one."  (he could have added a please, but it wasn't a snotty tone)  She immediately walks over to me and asks for a snack and while she's asking for a snack Momo tells my child "don't be mean."

There is a moment of silence on my part and then she gets a glare from me as I think to myself  did she really just tell my child not to be mean?  After she complains to me all the time about this girl always begging for food from me?  After she calls children's services on these kid's mom because they're at the park on their own every day?  After her own daughter comes over to me every day, too, and says "I'm sooooo hungry" and I either ask GQ to share a snack or have an extra with me?  After she's told her own daughter that some little girls were "poopy heads"?  After I watched her son get up in another little boys face and say "I'm not sharing, I've been sharing a lot this month and I'm tired of it, I'm not sharing with you." and she said absolutely nothing to him to correct that?  Are you freaking kidding me?


I totally didn't say anything to her.  I got home, stewed on it and about imploded.  How dare you tell my child "don't be mean" while I am right there and can handle the situation, if it were even a situation.  There was nothing to be handled.  GQ took care of it and the manner he did it in was perfectly acceptable.  I can't believe I didn't say anything to her.  *GAH*  I'm so mad at myself.  I hate to be confrontational but I hate (and I really dislike using that word) but I hate when somebody tries to parent my child when I'm right there.  I knew what was going on and I was good with it.  Sometimes I so hate (there it is again) being so easy going and go-with-the-flow.  I feel like my not responding makes her feel like she's OK stepping in to say dumb things.  Totally not going to let that happen again.  And If I don't feel like I shut her up, I'll sick GQ on her and he can tell her to shut the hell up.  (He would totally love it if I let him tell somebody that.)  My mom will be completely mortified reading that.  Sorry mom.  ;)

thankful thursday...

I'm thankful for these two guys.  They are my world and life just wouldn't be as amazing as it is with out them!

"mom, when can I get a brother?"

"Well, GQ, a little brother for you isn't going to happen.  I'm sorry."

"But I want one, mom."  

"Sorry, GQ, mommy and daddy can't have more babies.  You and Macy (the four-legged-ornery one) are our babies.  And even if mommy had another baby, you wouldn't be guaranteed a brother."

"Really?  Why can't you and daddy have more babies?  Daddy doesn't have them, you would have it, so you don't need him."

Silent pause...

Dad jumps in "It takes a mommy and a daddy to make the baby, GQ."

"How?"

Jumping in and changing the direction of the conversation, I add "Do you really want to share all your toys?  And if we have a girl, that would mean lots of pink and dolls."

Whew...crisis averted.  Not that the Where Do Babies Come From? conversation is a crisis, it's just not something we have time to discuss at 7pm on a school night.  Bed time is just an hour away and as curious as GQ is, I know the conversation and absorption of details might take that hour and more.  

The husband and I have always said we were going to be very honest with GQ about sex and answer his questions as they come, but now that we occasionally get them, I don't know if I'm prepared.  And it's not really preparedness, it's that I don't know what other kids know and I DO know how much GQ talks, so I worry (probably unnecessarily) about his spreading the wealth of his knowledge at recess.  Like I said, I'm sure I'm worrying to much.  I think recess time is time for playing Modern Warfare.  I think that's what he calls it, not sciences lessons.  But as the mother of a child that yelled out the window to our neighbor one day "Hey Nick!  My mommy said the Easter Bunny isn't real, it's just somebody in a costume!"  I worry about these things.  

After doing a little bit of math with GQ, he realized a brother (or sister) in nine months wouldn't mean instant playmate.  It would mean diapers and crying and pacifiers and baby-proofing.  And by the time the baby is seven, like GQ is, GQ would be almost driving.  

YIKES!  Driving!

at least he's honest...

Watching Fleet Foxes on Austin City Limits last night with the family.  Fleet Foxes, if you've never heard, are a pretty awesome indie folk band.

Fleet Foxes wardrobe choices are a little on the quirky side.  I expect that from them, but on this episode their clothes were a bit ill-fitting.  It just looked like they tossed their clothes in the dryer too long and lost some serious inches in the pant length department.

"It looks like one of the members (male) is wearing a pair of too-short mom-jeans and weird sandals." I commented.

 GQ quickly agreed, then added "Yes, they look like mom-skinny-jeans.  Skinny moms wear those, not moms like you."

Shocked pause here.  Jaw dropping.

As I give a not so thrilled glance, I responded  "That's awesome, GQ.  You don't always have to say everything you think..."

"What?"  GQ said smiling.  (little shit)

I'm glad he's honest but I guess we now need to work on honesty and keeping opinions to yourself.  ;)

I need more hours in my day...

Two weeks ago I went back to work.  Full time.  It's seasonal work, so in a couple weeks I might not have a job, but they could also ask me to stay on.  Not sure yet that I'd like to stay.  Some days, yes, some days, no.  Guess it doesn't matter what I want until they'd actually make an offer to become permanent and I have to make a choice.

For seven years I've been a stay-at-home-mom.  I had a part time job for a few months at a scrapbook store.  That was for fun.  And I helped another friend at her scrapbook store, but that was just whenever I could go in and if she needed me.  Then last school year I worked as a substitute teacher for our local elementary schools.  A job where I could say "yes, I'll work today." or "not interested, call somebody else."  Now, I have a job and a 40 hour/week work-schedule.  I'm expected to come in and nobody calls me to ask me if I'd like to work today.  I punch a time clock.  Weird.

Jumping into the working world from the non-working world has been hard.  Harder than I thought it would be.  I wanted to go back to work, to do something, but when the time actually came...I wanted to change my mind.

My first day at work was rough.  It was the first time since GQ was born that I had to leave him.  I don't have any problem leaving him with his daddy or a sitter, but I think knowing that I wasn't going to be home to chat with him about his school day or put him to bed...man, that was really overwhelming for me.

I cried when I talked to GQ on my very first break.  Silly.  But, I missed him.  I missed our routine.

Part of my uneasiness about going to work is giving up control of my house.  If you know me, you know I'm a little on the particular side.  Some would call it a bit on the OCD side.  I like things in order and everything in it's place.  I have special way I load the dishwasher, fold clothes, vacuum, dust, keep papers, routines with GQ.  Letting hubby help with some of those chores and letting them be done to his standard and not mine...that would be tough, so I was just going to do it all.  But I found out, there just aren't enough hours in the day. 

I tried to do it all and for two weeks laundry has piled up, things haven't been cleaned and the house has become cluttered.  I've slept when I could and done enough to make evening routines easy for GQ and hubby.  I haven't asked for help but today, I gave up.  I finally admitted that I can't do it all.

So tomorrow, my day off, I am going to make a list of chores for hubby to do while I work.  I'm going to let him help around the house.  I have no idea what I'm willing to give up control of yet.

Dishwasher?  I really like how I load it, every dish has a place and there is a right way to load it.  Maybe I'll just leave him in charge of unloading?

Laundry?  I really like the way I fold the shirts and hang everything in the same direction.

Vacuuming?  That's my favorite.  I think I'll keep that one; I love seeing the fresh lines in my carpet.  {I told you was particular.}

Dusting?  All his...HATE IT!  Maybe I'll give him ironing, too? 

Bathrooms?  As much as I don't like cleaning the bathrooms, I'm particular, so I'll take that. 


Are you getting a good picture of why this is difficult for me?  Since I can't add more hours to the day, sharing chores is how I can make working work.  So, either wish me luck or help me figure out how to gain an hour or two. 

thankful...

I am thankful for so many things in my life, but most of all, I'm thankful for my family.  With out them, I wouldn't be me.

Happy Thanksgiving...

adios, separation anxiety...

At least I hope.

The last time I posted about G.Q.'s separation anxiety was almost six weeks ago.  In those past six weeks, our mornings at school drop-off have become so incredibly easy!

G.Q. has always thrived with routine.  Even if we couldn't have a routine, having a reminder about what is coming next always made the transition into the next task much easier.  So morning routine around here is pretty much the same everything.  G.Q. gets up, like clock-work, most days right about 7am.  He watches some cartoons, eats breakfast, showers, dresses and we head out to school.  Most days we park in the same spot, we get out of the car, he takes his vitamin, then hops on my back for a piggy-back ride across the field up to the school.  As we make our way to his classes line-up spot, which we generally get to with about two minutes till the bell rings, every day.  Once his teacher comes out, we hug, we kiss and do our "I love you!" and then he's into class, happy and ready to learn.

If any day was going to throw a wrench into our string of great mornings, it was going to be today, G.Q.'s teacher was absent.  A sub... "oh, no.  G.Q. isn't going to like this."  I immediately think.  I hear another first grade teacher that "we don't have a sub for your class, so you'll have different teachers taking shifts in your class today."  That made me breathe easier.  At least they'll be familiar faces.  G.Q. still had that look, that uneasy look, like he was thinking about not going to school today.

I think what saved G.Q. from "causing a scene" and trying to leave the school with me was the fact that I was going to be back for lunch with him.  He still gets his weekly lunch with mom if he's had five good mornings going to school.  And mom brings McDonald's!  I guess a Happy Meal is a great motivator!

Now, we have a new "issue" to work on...clothing.  It's been an ongoing issue, really.  G.Q. can be quite particular about where the collar on his shirt falls or where the hem of the sleeve or shirt bottom fall.  He has three shirts that are his go-to shirts and wants to rotate through them.  I'm trying to figure out clever ways to make choosing a shirt from the other 30 shirts in his closet much easier and tear-free.

Never a dull moment here...

what a week we've had...

Well, it's been a busy, busy week for us and I think we're all exhausted!  This past week we celebrated two birthdays, attended a Halloween festival at G.Q.'s school, went up to the strip on two different days for a little fun, hung at the park, did some shopping and managed to squeeze in lots of eating out. Some highlights of the week:

1.  Dinner on the patio at Mon Ami Gabi.  My first time at a French restaurant and it was delicious!  I found a new wine I loved and had an amazing dinner of onion soup and salad, plus some fabulous fresh French bread.  I think everybody else enjoyed their dinner just as much as I did; their meals ranged from steaks to mac and cheese to seafood stew.  Probably my favorite part of the meal, was when we were ordering and I watched G.Q.'s eye light up and he exclaimed "WOW!  MOM!  Did you see that?!"  Mon Ami Gabi sits across the street from the Bellagio fountains.  It's rare we go to the strip, so that was G.Q.'s first time seeing them and he was amazed!

2.  After our dinner at Mon Ami Gabi, we headed to Sugar Factory for dessert.  Everybody was stuffed from dinner so dessert we going to be shared.  G.Q. wanted a cupcake and it was almost his birthday so he got his own.  I managed to sneak away and ask the waiter to put a candle in his cupcake.  G.Q. was so surprised when it came to the table with a candle and we sang to him.  "How did he know it was my birthday, mommy?"  G.Q. kept asking.  I finally told him that I was sneaky and asked them for the candle.  An unexpected highlight was seeing the Indy cars in town for the weekend race down Las Vegas Blvd.  We heard some commotion and engines roar and then saw the cars race down the road.  It really was pretty cool!

3.  Guess what?  We went out to eat again...this time at YardHouse.  So good!  I love that they have a good portion of their menu dedicated to vegetarian selections.  The husband and my father-in-law like the large selection of beers on tap.  G.Q. loves that it's very closely located to an arcade that he was promised a trip to after dinner!  It was his birthday, after all, so we couldn't deny him some tokens in the crane game or videos games.  G.Q. somehow lucked out and won something from that rip-off machine they call "crane game."  I hate it but G.Q. loves it and insists that he can win something every time.  G.Q. won enough tickets playing games to buy himself some crap-behind-the-counter with his short-stack of tickets.  Why is that junk so appealing to little kids?  Again, it was his birthday, the visit to the arcade was a treat, so I sucked up my hate for it for the evening.

4.  The Stratosphere!  We went to the Stratosphere because G.Q. wanted to ride a roller coaster and they have a ride, The Big Shot, that he is just tall enough to ride.  He's tall enough with shoes on, but apparently they're picky and made him remove his shoes, so he didn't get to ride.  Bummer.  But the husband and my mother-in-law got their thrill on, all while I was trying to keep myself from getting sick being up so dang high on this tower.  These rides go up over 1,000 feet off the ground and go out over the side of the building.  Why would anybody want to strap themselves into a ride and dangle over the side of a building?  I have no idea but the husband had a blast!   He's a big kid and I love him!

5.  Spooktacular!  G.Q.'s school had a Halloween festival for the neighborhood.  They had carnival games, a haunted house (G.Q. was so pumped about this!), a costume contest and food.  Our first stop was the haunted house, which was very tame, but G.Q.'s first one ever and he was thrilled to be in it.  He got more excited as we turned each corner.  When it was over he said "that was creepy but not scary!"   Next it was costume contest time.  I was so excited about this contest because I made G.Q.'s costume and was almost 100% certain that he'd win!  As they kids paraded around I heard so many people say "There is Perry!"  Whew, so glad they knew what the costume was!  G.Q. was getting tired of the parading around but got a little excited when we was named runner-up in the contest.  We were beat out by a zombie, which was a bummer, but the zombie had some pretty amazing make-up.  I'm guessing somebody in the family or that they knew did it professionally because they could have been in a movie with their make-up. 

I could go on and on with our activities, but I'm too tired to remember them all.  Seriously, I'm pooped out!  We had a blast, had a great time celebrating mine and G.Q.'s birthdays.  Grandma and grandpa are home now, back in Ohio.  The guest bedroom has been stripped down and linens are washing as I type.  Life is settling down and returning to normal schedule.  By the weekend I'm sure we'll all be caught up on sleep.  It will be nice to return to normal but we're sure going to miss grandma and grandpa.

separation anxiety, part trois...

I'm showcasing my knowledge of the French language in my titles.  Don't worry, you're only going to get numbers and I can only go up to six, any other French I learned in school no longer exists in my brain.  

Onto part trois... We've now completed six weeks of school.  Mid-term reports are out and learning is in high gear.  Routines are set, friends have been made...G.Q. is loving school!  Our mornings?  Well, they're getting better.  This past week, we made it to school all five days with out any issues.  Do you know what a relief that was for me?  And for G.Q.?  HUGE!

Working with the guidance counselor and G.Q.'s teacher, we came up with a plan to track good mornings and after five, G.Q. gets a reward.  Every morning he goes into class with out any problems, he gets to color in a star on a chart.   At home there is a chart that he also earns a star on.  Once five are earned at school, he gets to hang for a bit with the guidance counselor and have a special treat.  Our reward from home is mom coming in to school with a special lunch for him.  This past Friday he got a Happy Meal.  I hate rewarding him with food we don't like him to have, but if it motivates, at least these first few weeks, I'll do it.

Friday after school, G.Q. was so proud of himself!  He had every right to be, too.  He had a great week of school, worked through his fears and went to school with out any problems...I was beaming with pride, too!  Hoping the weeks that follow are just the same for him.  He now knows that he has the self-confidence to do it which is exactly what I wanted him to see.

I know our troubled mornings aren't completely over, but we're making lots of progress.  It feels so much better to drop G.Q. off at school and walk away without tears in my eyes.  Finally, normal mornings!

I need a J-O-B...

I just might go crazy sitting around every day while G.Q. is in school.  I need something to do.  One can only clean, do laundry or read so much.  So, why am I not looking for a job?  Well...I've been a stay at home mom for almost seven years now, I like my no-schedule days.  I like my weekends to do whatever we want.  I like dropping off and picking up my little guy from school.  And I like to travel when we want to and not have to worry about taking time off work or if I'm even able to get X days off.  That's a lot to give up!

It's that time of year when lots of retail will be or already are hiring seasonal employees to help cover the holiday rush.  It would be great if I could get a job at a store we like to shop at, maybe get a discount, but with retail comes crappy hours.  Plus, we're traveling for Thanksgiving.  Already have our plane tickets, so during the stores potentially biggest sales day of the year, I won't be available.  That would probably get me a quick boot off the list of potential hires.

I guess I'll just have to keep my eyes peeled for the right fit and while I wait, enjoy my days.  Maybe I'll get caught up on my scrapbooking?  It's been a while, I hate to look at all the pics that are waiting to go into a book.  I could also take up a new exercise program, but I won't.  Too lazy.  Walking the pooch after I drop off the kiddo at school is exercise I enjoy and it's free.  No gym to join or class fee to pay.  I think I'll stick with it.  I should take advantage of this time, too, and clean out G.Q.'s closet.  I know there are too small clothes and some toys in there.  I'm sure I could fill a box for donation.  Need to do the same in my closet, too.

There is always the PTA, too, I'm sure they could find something for me to do.  I don't think I'm interested though.  I like a more relaxed PTO, this PTA seems like a weird sort of clique to me.  The "PTA Moms."  A friend of mine says she's a "friend of the PTA" not an actually PTA'er.  I didn't get the whole "friend of the PTA" until school started...now I get it.  It's hard to describe, but these ladies are always at the school organizing this or doing that.  They seem to be a tightly knit crowd that are friendly but they aren't too quick to let in a newbie.  I feel like they're judging my worthiness to be in the group.  Just not interested in that.  I finished high school almost *cough* 20 years ago, I don't do cliques anymore. 

I'll stop complaining about being bored.  I know there are lots of people that don't have enough hours in the day to get things done.  I'm very lucky to have boredom as my biggest problem.  

unspoiling your child...

I don't think we have a spoiled child, but as an only child, I worry a little extra about spoiling.   We try every day to make sure we're raising G.Q. to be a well-adjusted only child.  It's easier said that done but we do try.  G.Q. does know that the world doesn't revolve around him and it's not always him first.  Important things, because as an only child, home life can easily revolve around him and he's not waiting in line with anybody but the dog when he needs help.  There are two parents and him and the dog... we can each take one and no wait for either.  Hmmmm, spoiled kid and spoiled dog, maybe?


A couple weeks ago I had the morning news on as I moved around the house doing chores and getting myself ready for the day.  I caught the tail-end of a news segment titled How to Unspoil Your Child.  It immediately drew me in but I can't tell you who was offering the information, an author?  a doctor?  No idea, but I was liking what I heard.  The rules they offered:

1.  Teach your child discipline.  Make routines the boss... when you complete your homework, then you can watch a television show.  No matter how difficult and exhausting discipline can be, it's so worth it to have rules and to stick by them.  Most any parent knows that rules are always changing and adapting, but us having time-outs as our discipline has been huge.  G.Q. knows that when he's not behaving, there is a time-out to stop the behavior and have a period to think about that behavior.  We started them when G.Q. was 18 months old and have continued.  He's almost 7 years old and still gets used.  Now it's time served in his room, but still a cooling off period for him.  And like I said, rules change and adapt, so do punishments, because loosing privileges (toys, TV, computer time, outside time) in addition to time-outs all have a huge impact on G.Q.  The important thing is that G.Q. knows that actions have consequences, privileges are earned not expected.  So if we play at the park after school and he doesn't feel like doing homework or reading when we get home, that's fine, but that means no TV before bed.  Looks like we can put a check on rule number one.  OK, not a full check, but a 1/2 check, and in-progress check, because won't it always be in-progress?


2.  Teach them gratitude.  Gratitude, what is it and how do you teach it?  The dictionary definition of gratitude is the quality of being grateful or thankful.  How do you teach it?  It's hard, it's not just a lesson you go over one day and you're done.  It's something you teach every day.  I could try to list how we do it daily but I'll tell you a favorite moment of mine, when we saw it click in G.Q.'s mind and knew he was beginning to really understand how lucky he is to have all that he does.  Last Thanksgiving we had a nice dinner together, the three of us.  No family came to town and we didn't travel, so it was a quiet holiday together for us.  We had lots of leftover food from our dinner, so we boxed up four meals from the leftovers, put them in bags with utensils and a drink and then hit the road to find some people that didn't have family or even a home to sit and have that meal.  G.Q. was really having a hard time understanding how somebody could be homeless.  "Why don't they just go get a job?" he asked.  "It's not as easy as it sounds, buggy.  Sometimes people don't have family to help them when they don't have money and they have to live on the streets.  No family, no house, no food."  I told him.   As we were driving, heading towards downtown, we came across a lady, probably late 50's, walking with a coat on, carrying a bag or two and a rug.  I imagine the rug was used for both a mat to sleep on and to protect her from weather.  We stopped and offered her food.  She began to cry and thanked us...I wish I could have given her more.  I was kicking myself that we hadn't tossed some coats, blankets or socks in the car with us.  That moment, G.Q. realized what we were trying to explain to him but he wasn't really understanding.  He saw that a lady, a grandma, could be all alone, walking on the street wondering where she was going to sleep, what she was going to eat.  He realized how very lucky he was, how lucky we were that daddy had a job that allowed mommy to stay home with him and keep a nice, warm roof over our heads.  It was a very touching moment for all of us.  I'm hoping we can do this again over the holiday season.  Another in-progress check here.


3.  Be consistent.  This might be the most difficult one.  It's so hard to be consistent when you're tired or you're out in public and you don't want to cause a scene.  I have to admit that the husband is better at consistency than I am when we're out at a store or restaurant.  I try to be, but I just want a relaxed, quiet dinner or shopping trip.  The last thing I want to is carry an ornery child out of a store because I didn't buy him this or that.  It doesn't happen often, and thankfully it's been when it's all three of us shopping together that G.Q. gets a bug up his butt and decides to give us a hard time.  Daddy is the first one to end it and carry him on out.  Yay daddy for standing your ground!  Mommy is working on her back bone!  It's been extra hard all summer long because of our move.  I feel like I was giving in a lot, trying to make the transition easy and now I need to step up my game again and mean "no" when I say "no!"    Other than that, with consistency, we are awesome when it comes to routines.  G.Q. thrives on a routine.  When you see him on a routine vs. off a routine, you'll see why consistency is so important to kids.  We're not so rigid with routines that we can't handle any change of plans, but when it comes to school nights and bedtime, I run a tight ship.  G.Q. knows it's homework, playtime, snack and TV then bed.  He'll sometimes ask for extra time, but he knows 8pm is bedtime and that's it.  He's in bed and usually asleep within five minutes.  His body is ready for sleep and needs 10-11 hours of sleep every night, so I don't veer from our schedule.  This routine means G.Q. wakes up all smiles and ready for the day with out an alarm and with out us begging him out of bed.  We'll call this one in-progress, too.  *The husband gets a slightly bigger check than me, but don't tell him that*


4.  Don't over-pamper your child.  Don't do something for them they're capable of doing themselves.  I was on a roll here, until we got to number four.  I've known for a while that I need to start making G.Q. do more for himself, but the control part of me was having a hard time letting him do it.  I'm too particular with how things are done.  If you get something out of my pantry, I like it neatly taken out, doors closed and the kitchen looking like you were never there.  Unrealistic with a almost 7 year old and a husband.  In my mind everything has it's place and if you touch it you need to put it back where you found it... exactly where you found it.  I've gotten so much better over the years, but if I can keep certain things in order, I'll do it.  That means, if G.Q. wants a snack, I always got it for him.  That way if it made crumbs, I could wipe them up and have a clean kitchen before I walked out of it to give G.Q. his snack.  So G.Q. got used to me waiting on him that it carried over into helping him clean up his toys (I'm weird about toy organization, too.  Imagine that?) and getting dressed.  After seeing this story I've begun working on the over-pampering.  When G.Q. wants a drink and I hear "mom, can you get me some water?"  my response is "go in the kitchen and get some water."  Same with snacks and toys.  I'm not so quick to jump up and do something.  The first couple days I started being less pampering I heard huffs and puffs coming from G.Q. as he had to get up and do something himself, but now he's asking for less and doing more on his own.  There have been spills here and there, but he's little, it's bound to happen and I try to stay calm and roll with it.  He's also offering to help out more.  Sometimes he asks to help and other times he just does it.  That can be good and bad, but I try to remember that he's really trying to be helpful, not meaning to do it incorrectly or make more of a mess that what was originally there.  I'm so thankful I happened upon this news segment because it's just what I needed to hear to make me help G.Q. become more independent.  Good for both of us!  No check mark or partial check here.  But we're working on it. 

Really, I didn't need that news segment to help me raise a child that isn't spoiled, but it's always nice to hear new, fresh ideas and different perspectives.  Something you can take bits and pieces from and weave them into your life.  Change things up when what you're currently doing isn't working or needs a little spicing up.  Seeing the news segment made me feel good about how we are raising G.Q. and also made me think about something that I wasn't doing.  Overall, this is probably the best list of rules I've seen for parenting.  A list I'm happy to follow.  It makes complete sense to me.  I do wonder though, if I had read this list or saw this segment seven years ago what I might have thought.  I know I had a list of "my child will never do _____" that my sister, who has five children all older than G.Q., always laughed pretty loudly at.  I've probably eaten my words more times than I'd like to admit with that list. 

my day...

1.  G.Q. woke us up at 6:30am.  That seems to be the new wake time for him.  I'd really love 7am, but waking up happy and on his own at 6:30am, I'll take it.  Wondering if we should move bedtime to 8:30pm instead of 8pm, but I like my evening with the husband, so I think I'm going to leave it as is and just deal with the new wake time.

2.  Had a cup of coffee, got the kiddo breakfast, pancake on a stick.  *gag*  The smell makes me want to barf but he loves them and requests them.  G.Q. barely eats lunch at school, I have to make sure he eats a good amount for breakfast, so I feel that's my "good excuse" for letting him eat something I normally wouldn't buy.

3.  School drop-off.  Right on time.  Gave the kiddo a piggy-back ride across the ball field as we walked into school.  Man, that kicks my butt!  G.Q. is 45 pounds now and is wearing a backpack with his lunch and a full water bottle in it.  The 100 or so yards we piggy-back feel like a mile!  Who needs to lift weights when I can piggy-back G.Q. every day?  As we're making the trek across the field G.Q. said "this is good exercise for you mom, since you don't walk Macy in the morning anymore, you need the exercise."  Thanks for the pep talk kiddo, maybe you should consider personal training as a career?

4.  Exercise, round 2: take Macy for a walk.  Good tunes this morning on our walk...Coldplay, The Decemberists and some Flo Rida.  The pooch is a great walking partner, she keeps me moving, but a little of this gives us a nice beat!

5.  Meet friend for coffee and a bite to eat.  We both have Entertainment Books so we're working our way around the area coffee shops and breakfast eateries with our buy one, get one coupons.  Breakfast turned to lunch as three plus hours passed.  It's so nice to just sit in a comfy chair, drink coffee and talk about nothing and everything.  It's my weekly release. 

6.  Drive home to let Macy out for a potty break, refill the water bottle and then back out for school pick-up.  Nothing puts a smile on my face like seeing my kiddo walk happily out of his classroom door onto the playground!  He proudly showed me his new kazoo, his prize for reading 10 books.  We're going to have to lose this kazoo soon because it's a loud, annoying toy. 

7.  Park time!  45 minutes of fresh air and time with friends after school before it's time to head home and hit the homework.  G.Q. has such a great time playing and just hanging out.  There is a regular group that hangs at the park and it's nice to decompress there in the fresh air and just let the kids be kids.

8.  Homework time.  Since G.Q. worked ahead yesterday on his packet, tonight is just reading.  Four books read, sort of easy reads, so he flew through them.  Then requested six more easy books so he could fill his reading log in one day and pick a new prize at school tomorrow.  "Request denied, buggy.  You need to challenge yourself a bit, too with your reading.  We'll have some more difficult books tomorrow, but I like your enthusiasm."

9.  Empty dishwasher.  Load dishwasher.  Empty dryer.  Toss clothes from washer into dryer.  Start new load in washer.  The never ending cycles...load dirty dishes, put away clean dishes, dirty clothes, wash clothes, dry clothes, fold clothes, iron clothes, hang up clothes, and repeat...

10.  Dinner time.  It's fend-for-yourself at our house tonight.  If you're hungry, take a look in the pantry and fridge. 

11.  Open house at school.  Head over, search for a parking spot.  It doesn't exist at the elementary so we park over at the middle school.  On our walk over to the elementary G.Q. asks for piggy-back ride, "mom, you need more exercise, can I do a piggy-back ride again?"  I know he's not being mean, we're going to have to work on his delivery.  We had a fun time walking around the school with G.Q.  He showed us the library, his music class and played a little xylophone.  I wish I could play one and play it well.  I'd really love to play the piano well.  There was a student in the music room that tickled the ivories for us, he played a couple different Coldplay songs and it was so cool!  I could have listened to him play for hour.  G.Q. loved listening, too.  But we had to work our way to his classroom and see his teacher, so we couldn't stay and continue listening.  G.Q. gave us a tour of his classroom and showed us some of the recent projects they've done.  Very fun to see him explain the different areas of the class and seeing his work.  We met the class snake and G.Q. got a big treat and met somebody, too.   He met his teacher's son, who is blind.  G.Q.'s class has been learning about their five senses and they got to learn a lot about being blind and work on a brailler.  G.Q. has been very interested in his teacher's son and how he learns through braille and said he'd like to talk to her more about it, so it was a real treat for him to meet, Adam!  Adam showed G.Q. his cane and how he uses it to get around.  Had there been time, G.Q. would have enjoyed hanging out with Adam.

12.  Meltdown.  The mistake of the evening was to let G.Q. browse shop at the book fair before leaving the school open house.  Boy does Scholastic know what they're doing by stocking their book fairs with tons of Lego books.  Not just Lego books, but Lego books with mini-figs attached to them.  Of course we left with the book, but when I said "you can have the book today, but can't have the mini-fig until Friday when I originally said you could buy a book" you would have thought I told him I threw all his Legos away.  "what?!  What about you let me have the mini-fig tonight and the book on Friday?"  Nice try, but "no."  Not the answer he wanted to hear.  Drama, drama, drama.

13.  Bedtime for buggy.  After G.Q. calmed down and realized we weren't being unreasonable we chilled with a quick episode of Zeke & Luther.  G's favorite show, ever!  Luther Waffles is pretty darn funny!   Then off to bed, just 10 minutes late.  I was thinking open house was going to really throw off our bedtime tonight, but we did pretty good staying on track.  Whew!  G.Q. needs his sleep and I need my evening to pack his lunch and backpack before chill time for mommy.

14.  Boob-tube time.  A little Tosh.O and The Daily Show to catch up on tonight.  Thank goodness for the DVR!  I don't know what night or what time any of my shows are on.  I just know they'll be on DVR and I can fast forward through all the annoying commercials.  *Holy Crap!*  I almost forgot about Parenthood...BEST.SHOW.EVER...on tonight!

I'm going to regret this purchase...

G.Q. was clinging very tightly to a new Lego book, Lego Star Wars, The Visual Dictionary. (creating this link I see it's $7 cheaper on Amazon, but that's $7 to his school, so I can't complain...but I'll whine a little.)  The book is pretty cool, details all the Lego sets that are dedicated to Star Wars, all the way back to 1999.  There is also a mini-fig (that's cool Lego-kid slang for mini-figure or Lego person) included with the book.

Today was the special VIP breakfast for parents and kids to view and shop the book fair before school.  I think every parent and every kid was there, and the line to check out wrapped around the entire room used for the fair.  Since we had time to kill waiting in line, we flipped through the book a bit.  As he looked at all the pics, G.Q. was also trying to figure out a way to get me to let him take that mini-fig out of the package...I could see the wheels turning.  I'd already told him it stayed put until after school.  I know, mom's no fun, but mom knows that mini-figs can break apart into 8+ pieces and the drama a missing piece would cause if one was lost at school.  The pieces are tiny...I've picked them off the carpet, out of chair cushions and the vacuum bag, I'm not searching for them at school.  And I'm not buying a 2nd book because "I loooooost my mini-fig...I neeeeeeeeed a new one."  Again, call me mean, I call it a life lesson. 

As we're in line, waiting, I said "I think that mini-figs name is Luke Skywalker."  A total guess because I know ZIP about Star Wars.  I haven't seen any of the movies and have no desire to either. *gasp*  Sorry Trekkies, wait, wrong show.  What do Star Wars die hards call themselves?  I was quickly corrected by the kid standing in line in front of us, "no, that's Han Solo."  Might as well have ended his correction with a big, "DUH, lady!"  I didn't see it as any big deal, but I'm betting to that kid I'm the dumbest mom ever, to not know that was Han Solo.  Whatever...it's not my genre, I still don't plan to see the movies, if G.Q. wants to see them, that's going to be dad's job.

We get through the line, pay and on to school.  Like I requested the mini-fig stayed in the book until after school.  Once school was out, the mini-fig was out and the wheels in G.Q.'s head started turning...what Lego Star Wars sets do I want?  What ships, weapons and mini-figs can I look up online and try to make with what I already own?  "Mom!  Can you help me look up this Lego set?"  And so it begins...for the next four hours G.Q. spent researching in his book, then the computer and then his Lego pieces to build various parts of the Star Wars empire.  It keeps him busy and it's very impressive what he can build and create with the Legos, but since I am often called in to search for a random piece, I tire of it quickly.  I knew I was going to regret this purchase.

How can I complain about a toy and book that give G.Q. so many ideas and let him be so creative?  He amazes me every day with creations.  Tons of kids post videos on youtube with their Lego creations and how to build them.  G.Q. loves to watch.  He's also getting the bug to create some Lego videos himself.  I think dad has about 10 videos on his phone that G.Q. has created.  He gets better with each recording, one day maybe he'll have his own youtube channel.  

separation anxiety, part deux...

If you were reading last week, you might remember I mentioned G.Q. having some separation anxiety issues with school this year.  We're now through the third week of school and they continue.  *sigh*  As badly as I feel for G.Q. as he tries to get past the nerves and go into school without the shove through the door from me; I'm over it.  I'm ready to give hugs and kisses on the play ground and walk happily to my car like all the other parents on the playground.  Instead, I'm the parent trailing behind, sunglasses on and a tear running down my cheek.  It's rough.  It's exhausting.

According to G.Q.'s teacher, I'm doing everything right, by giving that push and being on my merry way, but it doesn't feel so right when I'm doing it.  I wouldn't call myself a true attachment parenting follower, but we've always tried to really do what is right for G.Q. and what we felt his needs were, so pushing him into something that he doesn't want to seems wrong...even though I know it's right.  I know he can handle it emotionally, I know he loves his teacher, I know he has made some friends, I know he loves to learn and really enjoys all that his teacher has taught them so far...doesn't make that shove any easier.

I had no idea how much a bad morning for G.Q. would bring me down, but it sure is a kick in the ass at 8:30am.  It's not everyday we have the anxiety, but it's averaging two days each week.  Those two days seem to suck the energy out of me.  I worry.  I stress.  I don't do a damn thing, but sit and try to figure out what went wrong, why it went wrong...and I come up with the same answer...I don't know.  Aren't moms supposed to have all the answers?  Why don't I know?  Why can't I figure this out? 

As I sit, worry and stress, I start to remember my time in first grade.  I loved my teacher, I loved school, but I had separation anxiety.  I had totally forgotten that last part until G.Q.'s issues made me remember.  When I started first grade a new program was being started at my elementary school, a K-1 program, where kids that weren't quite ready for first grade but didn't belong in kindergarten would go.  The problem was the program didn't start until a week after school started and my teacher was going to become the K-1 teacher, so I was moved into a different first grade class after just becoming comfortable with my first new teacher.  Miss Fahle was my new, new teacher.  I thought she was so neat!  She was short, so we little first graders loved that.  She was young and wasn't married...for some reason I thought that was so fascinating, I imagine because most of the adults in my life were married folk.  She was a pretty fancy dresser, too.  I remember her fancy high-heeled shoes, they were so cool!   As cool and awesome as I thought Miss Fahle was, I didn't want to go to school.  It all started with a belly ache when my mom pushed me onto the bus and ended in tears as I sat in my classroom.  I can't recall how long this went on, probably just a couple weeks, but I remember having a conference with my teacher and my mom and then suddenly I was fine.  No more belly aches, no more tears.  What happened in that conference, I don't remember, but it made me turn the corner. 

What's going to make G.Q. turn that corner?  I don't know.  I keep coming up with that answer.  I don't know.  How freaking frustrating is that?  I'm hoping it's time, maybe it's chatting with the guidance counselor.  Whatever it is, I'd like it to all happen very soon, for my sanity.  How selfish is that?  I'd like to become more productive and not worry how long G.Q. sat sadly at his desk, wishing I would have let him stay with me.  I'd like to enjoy the free time I have while he's at school to get back to my scrapbooking and anything else I want to do.  I knew when I became a stay-at-home-mom that I wouldn't have much time to myself until school started, well school has started and I want my free time!

separation anxiety is going to give me anxiety...

New city & state, new house, new school, new grade...the newness all sort of smacked our little kiddo in the face on the very first day of school.  I think he panicked and for the first time ever our family got a taste of separation anxiety.  Boy, it's rough. 

Since G.Q. has always been an easy going little guy, never shy or afraid to really try anything, when that moment that he didn't want to go into school and was pretty much refusing and trying to go the opposite direction of the school, I panicked.  How to tell a little one everything is going to be alright when you're crying yourself?  Thankfully, I had sunglasses on and G.Q. didn't notice me crying.  And a double thank you that daddy was there and saved the day.  He was able to talk G.Q. down and walk him into his class and out the door.  I don't know if I could have done that with out much drama.  Way to go daddy...he deserves big props for that!
 
I knew that G.Q. would have a great first day at school and that thought was confirmed when I picked him up.  First thing he did was apologize for acting up at drop-off and then he told me how much he liked his teacher and school.  Made me feel so much better!  Days two and three were super-easy drop-off wise.  Day four...not so much.  This time it was all mommy forcing him into his class and walking away.  Gut-wrenching!  Forcing him into something he clearly doesn't want to do, knowing he's sad and afraid and I give a shove and run the other way.  Way to make me feel like complete crap.  I immediately went home and began to worry about how he was doing and wondering if I could help him get over this anxiety.  I worried that never sending him to day care or preschool was the right choice, if staying home with me was really as good for him as we thought it was.  Then I realized his anxiety was giving me anxiety and I worrying for no real reason.   I turned to the trusty internet to help me find some answers.  I found a book that I thought might help out a bit and immediately downloaded it. Freeing Your Child from Anxiety: Powerful, Practical Solutions to Overcome Your Child's Fears, Worries and Phobias by Tamar Ellsas Chansky.  I don't know if it will be the solution to our morning jitters but it's worth a shot; anything to make him feel better.  I'll review the book and let you know how it's working for us after I've finished it...stay tuned.