Sunday, December 11, 2011

I need more hours in my day...

Two weeks ago I went back to work.  Full time.  It's seasonal work, so in a couple weeks I might not have a job, but they could also ask me to stay on.  Not sure yet that I'd like to stay.  Some days, yes, some days, no.  Guess it doesn't matter what I want until they'd actually make an offer to become permanent and I have to make a choice.

For seven years I've been a stay-at-home-mom.  I had a part time job for a few months at a scrapbook store.  That was for fun.  And I helped another friend at her scrapbook store, but that was just whenever I could go in and if she needed me.  Then last school year I worked as a substitute teacher for our local elementary schools.  A job where I could say "yes, I'll work today." or "not interested, call somebody else."  Now, I have a job and a 40 hour/week work-schedule.  I'm expected to come in and nobody calls me to ask me if I'd like to work today.  I punch a time clock.  Weird.

Jumping into the working world from the non-working world has been hard.  Harder than I thought it would be.  I wanted to go back to work, to do something, but when the time actually came...I wanted to change my mind.

My first day at work was rough.  It was the first time since GQ was born that I had to leave him.  I don't have any problem leaving him with his daddy or a sitter, but I think knowing that I wasn't going to be home to chat with him about his school day or put him to, that was really overwhelming for me.

I cried when I talked to GQ on my very first break.  Silly.  But, I missed him.  I missed our routine.

Part of my uneasiness about going to work is giving up control of my house.  If you know me, you know I'm a little on the particular side.  Some would call it a bit on the OCD side.  I like things in order and everything in it's place.  I have special way I load the dishwasher, fold clothes, vacuum, dust, keep papers, routines with GQ.  Letting hubby help with some of those chores and letting them be done to his standard and not mine...that would be tough, so I was just going to do it all.  But I found out, there just aren't enough hours in the day. 

I tried to do it all and for two weeks laundry has piled up, things haven't been cleaned and the house has become cluttered.  I've slept when I could and done enough to make evening routines easy for GQ and hubby.  I haven't asked for help but today, I gave up.  I finally admitted that I can't do it all.

So tomorrow, my day off, I am going to make a list of chores for hubby to do while I work.  I'm going to let him help around the house.  I have no idea what I'm willing to give up control of yet.

Dishwasher?  I really like how I load it, every dish has a place and there is a right way to load it.  Maybe I'll just leave him in charge of unloading?

Laundry?  I really like the way I fold the shirts and hang everything in the same direction.

Vacuuming?  That's my favorite.  I think I'll keep that one; I love seeing the fresh lines in my carpet.  {I told you was particular.}

DustingAll his...HATE IT!  Maybe I'll give him ironing, too? 

Bathrooms?  As much as I don't like cleaning the bathrooms, I'm particular, so I'll take that. 

Are you getting a good picture of why this is difficult for me?  Since I can't add more hours to the day, sharing chores is how I can make working work.  So, either wish me luck or help me figure out how to gain an hour or two. 

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