"moooooom! I need some help in here, please!" OK, assuming G.Q. is ready to get out of the shower and dry off. As I walked into the bathroom, to a drenched bathroom floor, I see he didn't need the towel, but the floor did. "G.Q., how in the world did the floor get so wet?" I'm hoping for a reasonable answer, knowing it's not going to be sorry mom, it was an accident. And here it comes... "It was getting in my way while I was playing with the soap, so I pushed the curtain out of the tub." That's awesome. *insert eye-roll here* So the shower has been running for five or ten minutes with the curtain liner outside of the tub. The liner, the thing that's there to keep the water in the tub, is outside the tub. *counting backwards...10, 9, 8....3, 2, 1* How many times have I told G.Q. how important it is to keep the water in the shower/tub? I'm sure it's more times than I have fingers to count. Apparently, it hasn't completely absorbed, well it probably has, but the fun he's having sort of squashes any reasonable thinking. That's the best part about being a kid, fun can override a lot of things, right?! I mop up the water with a couple towels and let G.Q. know it's time to shut off the water get out.
"but I can't find the soap!" What? How do you lose a bar of soap in the shower? It's either laying on the bottom or on the shelf where it's supposed to be when not in use. "look around on the tub, G.Q., it has to be there." No, it didn't have to be there and it wasn't there. Why? It can't be in the tub because G.Q. was using the slope of the tub walls and the wet bar of soap like a skateboard on a skate ramp. The bar of soap flew out of the tub and landed somewhere in the bathroom.
I look all over for the soap...behind the toilet, under the vanity, behind the door, open and close the door thinking maybe it slid out into the hallway. Nothing. I immediately assume our sweet, but sometimes dopey pooch found the soap bar and was hiding in my bedroom blowing soap bubbles. Frantically finding the dog, I see she's sleeping and had no clue on the opportunity she missed to chew on something. She will have lots of opportunities, so no big loss to her...drop anything paper or plastic in this house and she's on it before you realized you dropped it. Amazing doggy radar she has!
Not to worry, it's just a bar of soap, it will be found and maybe be dry by the time we do. Less mess. I turn off the water, help G.Q. out of the tub and clean the bathroom. Just as I'm finishing, I see the wet, sudsy bar of soap staring at me. There it is, laying on top of the toilet paper roll. Fantastic. Wet toilet paper is my favorite, especially when it's stuck to wet soap. Ugh. Seems like I'm being a bit dramatic when it comes to the toilet paper, but you have no idea how much toilet paper we've gone through lately. Our sweet, but sometimes dopey pooch is smarter than I give her credit for, she has figured out how to remove the toilet paper roll from the holder. (She can also open the door to the linen cabinet.) The toilet paper has to be up in a basket on the vanity so she can't get to it. Even then she tries, you'll hear the lid to the toilet smacking as she's on the hunt. Most of the time she's very stealth, you don't know she's raided the bathroom until you walk into the bedroom and see white, shredded paper all over. Better paper than a shoe, but still annoying. Anyway, that's one more roll of paper ruined.
Long story long, huh? Sorry. I'll sign off, have to head to the store, we need toilet paper.